Circles

Dishes piling up in the sink
Whilst I'm reading a blog
To help me think
I always seem to be on the brink
Of breaking down

Want to fire
But draw a blank
As you left
My heart just sank
I'm so unsure now

I want everything to be nice
Want to sit down
To eat my bowl of rice
I want a new plan, Stan
I know why you ran

It's because I"m unattractive,
Over reactive,
Nuts,
And I have a sunken
Bust

But what is the point
Of putting yourself down
"Cause I just want everything to be right
I Want to eat jellybeans
I want to be full of beans.

And so why am I thinking
Along these lines
Scared of street lights
And drawing the blinds
Then I remember the Englishman

I've been talking to
my imaginary friends
Over cups of tea
Wandering around and about
O'er a vacant sea

Getting up to boil the kettle
Doing the same thing
Over and over again
And you're not my friend
You're just pretend

Maybe in way you are
in my soul
A distant star
And I would
And I would
And I would

If there was a promise
in my heart
That I could make a brand new start
Which reminds me, start is the Old English for leap
Why is it always a leap in the dark

I mean you know how the dishes
Will turn out
You'll be able to look around
At a clean house
Instead of  gross chaos

So the vision is clear
But high dives
They always scared me
So I dare not take the plunge
The vertigo thunders in my ears

And so I waste years
Absentmindedly smoking
Days blending into one another
Staring out into the ether
Through clouds of blue smoke

Well now I want a new plot
I've thought about it a lot
It could be good
It could be me
I could be free
Stop this living aimlessly

So why don't you just promise me
The gold at the end of the rainbow honey?
What if something goes wrong?
What if I slip and fall down
What if one day I wake up and I'm no longer strong?

But what is the point of self doubt
Why do I sit here on the couch
I could travel the seven seas
And I would
And I would
And I would

If only I could
But money opens doors
Whilst little me, I'm naught but poor
Whilst those rich bastards
Sit there eating their
Stuffing custard

Five star hotels that would be me
With a taxi to take me out to see
All the wonders I never saw before
Relaxing on my cruise liner, with my suitcase, full of surprises,
Me, smiling and waving at the shore

Well so much for dreams
Don't have any honey
Nor have I any money
I don't have a plan
And I don't have a chance

Don't go out to dance
Gave up on romance
Head inside my shell
Protecting myself
From hell

Identifying with
Rumination
While the dishes pile up from procrastination
And I read the blog
And it tells me it's because I don't belong

Offbeat
on a violent sea
Lost in a storm
Forgotten the norm
Taking pills, so to conform

But they're supposed to balance you
So maybe you could go ahead
Thanking God for your daily bread
Maybe pick up some loose ends
Even try to make amends

You could make a map
Of the land of Celeste
Where people do
Their very best
Mark North, East, South and West

A land where I contented be
Where relationships exist in harmony
Where the work is done
And I live in peace
Somewhere I am never teased

By thoughts of you
Of doing more, of being better
Or what I can buy from
from an on line store
With my lantern by the door

No digging yourself
Into the abyss
A joie de vivre
A place of bliss
Nothing amiss, a perfect kiss

Well timed
And asking no less, no more
Somewhere down by the seashore
And Ice cream
I scream!

Circles
Like the wheels of bicycles
Dropping part of my icicle
A moment destroyed
Invincible

Why do we have this crucible
Is there no school we can go to
To learn the unknown
A lighthouse
To guide us
From the storm

What is there to fear
When God is near
Set Sail
Full speed ahead
We'll get there yet.

              ***